During my O level studies (a very long time ago I
tell you), History was without a doubt my worst subject and that’s putting it
lightly. There were so many notes to read and the teachers always insisted on
topical tests so on average a book per topic, let’s just say there was no way I
was going to be a part of such madness.
I think it was during an East African History
class where we were studying kingdoms that I first saw the word hierarchy under
the centralized rule of the kingdoms or something along those lines.
Being a girl and attending a single school at one
point, the concept of best friends or bincus as we called them was one I was
accustomed to. Looking back, I now realize it was mandatory to have one or
society deemed you unworthy. This was the person whom you’d take to sit with
during visitation day, would wear matching clothes for a photo shoot that one
weekend and proof that those who didn’t have bincus were left out is that there
would be bincu hangout sessions where 2 bincus hang out with another pair of
bincus. As I grew older, the circle widen to a group of best friends but the
basic principle is said people would be there for each other, look after each
other, have fun together, you get my drift.
Through life, there is always that one person that
will make you change your mind about something because they would do the same
for you. The effort a person will put in to get in touch with you even after
you have bailed out last minute numerous times with a shady explanation or even
worse none at all. The hierarchy herein is that you are way up the ladder in
this person’s life that they will tolerate your nonsense time and time again
while you on the other hand, clearly do not grade them highly on your ladder.
As sad as this is, this is the reality of many relationships thus giving birth
to the millions of dysfunctional relationships that we see everyday around us.
As retarded as it is, many of these dysfunctional
relationships survive longer than normal relationships and are even more
beneficial.
When I first actively realized the work of
hierarchy in my life (personally and with those around me), I know how
Archimedes felt when he screamed ‘Eureka’ because believe me I could see the light bulb,
the light at the end of the tunnel, can you feel my excitement? I do not claim
to have figured out the entire human race; however understanding that how
people treat you most times says how they really feel about you has made making
certain decisions easier. In the same light, knowing this has made it possible
for me show people in my life (this only applies to those that I like) how up
the ladder they are.
However, like every theory there is always an
exception to the rule so I keep that at the back of my mind. I think it’s the
back yard somewhere (because everyone knows the mind is like a house)!