I’m the last born. I used to cry a lot while I was
growing up. I do not know if that is some sort of explanation but I think the
two might be somewhat connected.
I was a water fountain with a switch that clearly
everyone had access to. Granted there were some justified reasons to cry from
time to time but on the whole I blew everything out of proportion, took the
thing to a new level.
Of course being the last born, my mummy was always
protecting me from any sort of pain but that did not stop me. One might think
that going to boarding school in primary three (I cried for a month because my
mummy would not let me go to boarding school like my siblings and she
eventually gave in) would have taken this away, one would be wrong. Looking
back I don’t know how I was able to cry so much yet I’d ‘tie’ 20 strokes of
cane while I was in school.
This one time during holidays while I was in O level,
I had a huge argument with someone and simply burst into tears because I could
not take it anymore. Emotions were high, tempers were flying and my feet could
not hold me any longer so I started crying. I had always made a mental note not
to become a noisy crier and that might have worked out well but the crying and
arguing would suffocate me (mentally I know, but it seemed pretty real) so I’d
begin to whiz and after that, silent tears are but a myth. This time though, a
voice screamed above my whizzing insisting that I would not cry my way through
this one.
That was the last time I cried. I watched The
Amazing Spiderman 2 last week and cried when Gwen died, I was really angry at
Peter for failing to catch her in time so I didn’t even know I was crying until
I felt the tears. I was at a funeral service 2 years ago of a friend’s friend’s
sister only knowing her because she was a number of classes ahead of me at one
point in school and yet my eyes could not stop, no matter how much I wiped them
more tears were always ready to replace them. Like every rule, there are always
exceptions. Crying is for movies, novels and death; of course it makes sense to
give a reason or four for this.
From my experience, people will cry when they are
stressed, lose something, sick, et al and these are all situations that require
solutions and unless I am hugely mistaken, crying does not give any such
result. On the contrary, it leaves you feeling terrible, with red eyes probably
sniffing and the problem is not any closer to being fixed.
Crying is emotional, and therefore will always
most likely cloud one’s judgment. The need to cry comes from a place that is
frustrated, strained, confused and the last thing one needs in such moments is
the irrationality that comes with crying.