When
I told Lux about the parent’s comment from yesterday’s post, she felt that we
should go this route and explore the parenting in the UK.
Lux’s
parents are super liberal so the relationship she and her siblings have with
their parents is as disrespectful as one you would have with a day one niqqa/ ride or die or something along
those lines. It is a burden of sorts because her parents do not see her as
their child but rather a close friend, confidant which makes the expected
parent-child boundary invisible. This is especially terrible in cases where her
parents have an argument and both confide in her so she has to choose sides yet
she should not be in such a position.
As
if that is not enough, Lux’s mother sometimes feels the need to fill her in on
the details of her parent’s sexual interaction so that she (mother) can better
understand her emotions. This is a share too far.
A
few scenarios that happened with her parents that definitely shocked me but
only prove how different parenting in the UK is from that in Africa;
1. When she was
11 years old, Lux’s parents allowed her 14 year old brother to grow weed on the
window in her room; and yes weed was illegal. Funny story though, the weed was
stolen although how that happened is a mystery since it was being grown on the
fourth floor where her room was.
2. At 18 years Lux
left for university and she barely saw her parents although the place was about
2 hours away, the equivalent of Kampala to Lugazi. She assures me that this was
never a problem and to date, she communicates with her parents once or twice in
2-3 months. If I was on a different continent, I am sure that my parents would
be calling me as though their lives depended on it.
3. There was an
incident between Lax’s 25 year old sister and father; it was Christmas and their
father refused to wrap their brother’s Sock gifts saying, and
I quote ‘Santa is a cunt’. Her sister was furious and had a huge fight with her
father because he was being a terrible parent to their brother. That her sister
not only thought that she had an opinion on how their father should raise their
brother but went ahead to share it still has me SMH.
4. Lux’s father
is an embarrassing extrovert who will always be the one the dressed in
ridiculous clothing and dancing outrageous dance strokes. I had to confirm with
her whether she had meant to say brother.
She got in touch with her sister to get more
examples to show how different parenting in the UK is from that here *Yes, she
is very excited about this* and these were the most appalling;
1. Lux’s sister
was a baby sitter to a 12 year old girl. One evening the mother came into the
living room where they were hanging out and gave her 12 year old daughter a lot
of material (books, magazines, CDs you mention it) on sex saying and I quote ‘You’ll
know when you’re ready’.
2. There was a
13 year old girl who was in a relationship with a 30 year old man, her parents
knew about this relationship and were okay with it as long as she was happy.
I could NEVER in a million years imagine any
of this happening!
Disclaimer: This does not apply to all
families in the UK!